


A Meal Fit For Death

by Weevilo707



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Flirting, Food, M/M, This is pure fluff, kravitz hasn't had food in a long time, magnus is there at the end, taako must fix this immediately
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 11:47:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13740228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weevilo707/pseuds/Weevilo707
Summary: Kravitz doesn't really remember what food tastes like. It's been so long since he's been alive, and he might've forgotten that was a thing he could still do. So when Taako asks what his favorite food is, he doesn't have an answer.Taako has to fix this immediately. Or well, six hours, give or take.





	A Meal Fit For Death

“What’s you favorite food homedog? I was thinking we should go out to eat sometime. There’s a couple of swanky restaurants in Neverwinter I’ve been meaning to check out now that I’ve got the cash.”

It was a simple question, and a fairly considerate one at that. This was only their third  _ official  _ date (Taako claimed it to be their fifth, but Kravitz refused to acknowledge the incident in the lab as anything close to a date. The night at the Chug n’ Squeeze he’d give a bit more leniency for, but even still that’d only be 3 and a half) but he knew food was a big deal to Taako. The fact that he wanted Kravitz’s input for a dinner date meant something.

And he was drawing an absolute blank on an answer.

“I mean, I like wine. Red wines?” he said, and he didn’t have to look at Taako to know he was rolling his eyes.

“Listen, my dude, I love getting drunk as much as the next guy, but your favorite food can’t be wine,” Taako said, leaning further into him so he could stare up at him more. They’d gotten back from the opera Kravitz had taken him to a little while ago. He’d only meant to drop Taako back off at his dorm so he didn’t have to call down one of their weird space canons. Instead he’d gotten talked into ‘taking a load off and chilling for a while.’

Which was nice. ‘Chilling’ wasn’t something he’d done in a long time. When he told Taako that he asked what his whole cold deal was then, and Kravitz couldn’t help but laugh. It had ended up with the two of them on the bed, Taako snug up against him in a way that made  _ something _ twinge in his chest. He found himself hoping that he wouldn’t get pulled away for a little while longer, and that was something he hadn’t cared about in quite a long while.

There was that twinge again as Taako looked up at him with an honest curiosity about what his favorite food was.

“I don’t- um, I’m fine with whatever you want to choose, honest,” he said. Taako frowned somewhat at that, pouting slightly.

“Aw, that’s no fun dude. Listen alright, this is a- we’re a no-judgment zone here, alright? If your fav’s fucking pickles dipped in cream cheese or some shit well, we’re not going to a restaurant with that, but no judgy,” Taako said. Kravitz signed and figured he should just tell him the truth.

“I don’t… actually know? I haven’t uh, I haven’t had food in a long time?” he said hesitantly. Taako’s face got noticeably unreadable at that and he knew that could not be good.

“How long?” he asked, and Kravitz shrugged a little helplessly.

“I um, I definitely ate when I was alive. I know I had to do that,” he said, and Taako pulled away from him so he could face him properly. Kravitz was only a little disappointed as the lack of warmth.

“Hooow long have you been doing this whole death gig again? Like, rough estimate? Years wise?” he asked, and Kravitz was very nervous to answer that.

“Um, it’s pretty difficult to keep time in the astral plane. Maybe like, a thousand? A little over a thousand?” he guessed.

_ “You haven’t eaten food in a thousand years?!” _ Taako shouted, almost frantically climbing off of the bed.

“I mean, it’s not like- I don’t  _ need _ to. I got into a habit of not doing that I suppose?” he tried to placate the elf, following after him as he practically stormed out of the room. He was in the kitchen and pulling out a whole mess of things and Kravitz wasn’t sure what he was planning.

“And I don’t need to sleep my dude! That doesn’t mean I still don’t do it because it’s  _ fucking amazing,” _ Taako said, stopping in front of the fridge and just sort of staring inside. “Fuck, what do I… a  _ thousand years! _ Do you even… savory or sweet? How do you go a thousand years without eating but still drink wine?” he asked, most of that mumbled to himself it seemed.

“I uh, I liked wine when I was alive, I remember that. Didn’t get to have it much, but it’s um, surprisingly a lot of necromancers tend to keep it around. Pretty good kinds too, so I kind of got into a habit of taking it I guess?” he explained. Taako actually snorted a bit at that, laughing somewhat.

“Okay that’s- that’s fair I guess. But  _ fuck _ , what food do I make a guy who’s had nothing but wine in one thousand years?” he asked. Kravitz honestly didn’t know how to answer that for a moment, he had even less of an idea of what food was good. Taako was still pacing around, seeming completely unable to decide on what to do.

“What’s your favorite?” he asked, and Taako stopped his frantic pacing, seeming to just sort of think for a moment.

“Uh, do you got like… fuck, it’s kinda late already. Whatever, we’re on a secret second moon, time is fake. Do you got like a couple of hours? Like maybe, fuck, how long did it… six? Think you could chill out here for the rest of the night?” Taako asked, and Kravitz was a bit surprised by that.

“I mean, I can’t be sure that my Queen won’t need me, but baring emergencies I don’t have any pressing matters to attend to. Does food always take that long?” he asked, feeling a bit like he was losing control of what was going on around him.

“Only when it’s the best. Okay, so I need… hm, alright. I need to run to the store to pick up some shit, you chill here for a bit alright? And don’t fucking eat anything, I’m not having this be ruined,” Taako said, heading over to the door and starting to throw on his cloak and shoes again.

“I can wait a few more hours, don’t worry. Are you sure I can’t just come with you?” he asked. He had no idea what to do in Taako’s home alone when Taako wasn’t there.

“Listen, I know you can’t bare to get rid of me, but it’ll be like, fifteen minutes, tops,” Taako joked.

“You’re right, I can’t,” Kravitz said, letting a goofy smile spread across his face. Taako looked a bit flustered for a moment and for as much as he talked a big game it was pretty easy to get him flustered. Pretty much all Kravitz had to do was agree with the things he said.

“Mhmm yeah of course. Well you’re just gonna have to make due,” he said, starting to leave. Kravitz was suddenly struck by a terrifying thought.

“Wait! What if someone else wakes up before you get back?” he asked in a panic. They hadn't exactly been the quietest people right then.

“Make due!” was the only thing Taako shouted back before the door closed and Kravitz was left alone. He wasn’t sure if Taako had explained anything about their recent relationship development to his two co-workers yet, but he didn’t want to take the chance on him having not. So instead of staying out there he just kind of went back into Taako’s bedroom and closed the door.

It took longer than fifteen minutes, and Kravitz wouldn’t say he was one to easily succumb to boredom, but he did end up poking around Taako’s books a bit. They were mostly arcane texts, a couple of cook books throw in here and there (he wondered if he was going to use a recipe in one of these?). There were one or two small novels scattered about as well. They looked like they were from a children’s detective series, which didn’t really seem like something Taako would be into.

After what was probably closer to 30 minutes than fifteen he heard the front door to their dorm open again.

“Sorry, Garfield was being especially inscrutable tonight. Aw, you didn’t have to leave, did you?” Taako’s voice called out from the main room, and Kravitz quickly put down the spellbook he was flipping through to go out there.

“I’m still here, did you manage to get everything you need?” he asked, and Taako nodded, putting some bags down on the counter.

“Yep, I might’ve traded away some sort of life debt? But that’s fantasy costco for you,” Taako said, starting to get things set up. Kravitz didn’t have much of an idea what any of it was for, but it looked like he knew what he was doing.

“Every time you tell me more about this place I’m somehow less certain that any of it is real,” he said, amusement clear in his voice.

“I mean, everything about me is pretty unreal,” Taako joked.

“That’s true, I certainly haven’t ever met someone like you before,” Kravitz said, smiling wider when Taako’s face went a bit red. When he saw he amused expression on Kravitz’s face Taako thwacked him in the shoulder with a wooden spoon.

“You stop that.”

“I’m just agreeing with you,” Kravitz said innocently. Taako rolled his eyes but didn’t press it any further.

“So uh, once I get the prep work done it’s just a lot of standing around and waiting, so we’ll have time to kill if you’re cool like, chilling some more,” Taako said and Kravitz nodded.

“That sounds lovely,” he said. Taako moved fast in the kitchen, little bits of magic to help him every so often. With the way he used mage hand and levitation spells, it was like there were two people working together instead of just Taako. Kravitz offered to help, even though he had no idea what to do, but Taako turned down that offer. He couldn’t quite blame him. It didn’t seem to take too long before he’d put the food in the oven and was wiping his hands clean.

“Okay, cool cool. Now I just gotta like, check on it every hour or so, until it’s done,” he said.

“You didn’t have to go through all of this trouble. I could’ve just like, had an apple,” he said, but Taako quickly shook his head.

“Hell nah, and besides, it’s really not a lot of trouble. It’s just time consuming,” Taako said, leading them over to the couch to sit down. “It’s uh, a recipe my aunt used to make. She’s the one who taught me how to cook,” he explained.

“She must’ve been an amazing cook then,” Kravitz said, and Taako smiled widely.

“You don’t get to compliment me on that until you’ve tried it, but yeah. The talent is just fucking overflowing in my family I guess,” he joked. The goofy smile on his face seemed to drop some as he thought more. It wasn't that he looked sad, but a bit more solid, real. “But yeah, she only made it once a year, cause it took forever. The day after or the day before my birthday or something, I can’t remember,” he added.

“Not on your birthday?” Kravitz asked, and Taako shook his head.

“Nah, I guess we were like, too busy doing other shit for it to be able to cook the turkey,” Taako explained, and that made sense he supposed.

The next couple of hours were nice. Relaxing. They hadn’t had much of a chance to just sort of sit and talk for such a long stretch of time. Kravitz was worried he was going to end up boring Taako, but that didn’t seem to be the case. Every so often he’d get up and check on the food, but that seemed more because he wanted it to be perfect than because he was bored.

And Kravitz might not have eaten in either recent or distant memory, but the meal was starting to smell amazing.

“How much longer until it’s done?” he asked after the most recent check, and Taako laughed. He looked like he was getting a bit tired, which made sense for how late it was. Every time Kravitz suggested he take a break though Taako insisted he was fine.

“For someone who hasn’t felt the need to have food in a thousand fucking years you sure do sound impatient,” Taako teased.

“I mean, to be honest I forgot it was an option for a long while there,” he admitted.

“God, we gotta kick you out of that kind of stuff. I know you’re dead and all but like don’t knock this living shit either. It’s pretty nice,” Taako told him.

“I’m starting to see some of the perks, I suppose,” he said, looking very pointedly at Taako as he did.

“Fuckin dork,” he mumbled. 

Thankfully it didn’t seem to take too much longer before the turkey meal was done. Kravitz wasn’t hungry, but it seemed amazing and he couldn’t say he wasn’t insanely curious by this point.

“And luckily for you, it goes good with wine too,” Taako said, pulling out some wine and pouring them both a glass. Kravitz sipped it while Taako cut some of the turkey off for him. “I guess- I guess I coulda made some sides, to like, make it a full meal. Didn’t really think- It just seemed good enough on it’s own,” he mumbled before handing the plate over to Kravitz. He actually seemed rather nervous as he waited for him to try it.

“Presentation is a, I’d give presentation a plus for clean simplicity,” he joked, and it got Taako to laugh at least.

“Just fucking eat the food my dude, I’m dying of suspense over here,” Taako told him, taking a sip of his wine. Honestly, Kravitz was also rather excited to see what this was about, so without any further ado, he got a chunk of the turkey on his fork and put it in his mouth.

He  _ wanted _ to do something cool, like hum thoughtfully and make a quip about Taako ruining him for any other food. Instead, he sort of half choked, blurted out a “ _ Holy shit,” _ before shoving more into his mouth as fast as possible. Taako immediately started laughing, and Kravitz couldn’t even be annoyed.

“I take it that’s a good thing my dude?” Taako asked, very clearly teasing him. Instead of answering Kravitz just sort of nodded as he continued to down the food. “Cool, cool. That’s good. Gonna have to get you caught up on all kinds a food now,” he added, starting to get some for himself.

It didn’t take very long for Kravitz to finish the plate Taako had put in front of him. When he cut himself off some more he continued at a bit of a slower pace this time. He kind of wondered how much he could eat. His body was a construct, he wasn’t even sure if he could feel full.

“I know what my favorite food is now,” Kravitz said in between bites.

“Dude, it’s the only food you’ve had, it doesn’t really count,” Taako said, but Kravitz shook his head.

“If I ever had anything this good when I was alive it would’ve stuck with me, I’m sure,” he said. Taako rolled his eyes, but there was a clear point of pride on his face.

“Yeah, I guess my shit’s pretty great,” Taako said, slowly eating his own plate. Kravitz was pretty sure if he sat there and worked on it, he could finish the whole bird. He probably shouldn’t do that though. He managed to finish his second plate by the time Taako was done with his first, and it was taking a lot of effort not to go for a third.

“You look exhausted. This was incredible and I’ve really enjoyed getting to stay here for a bit longer, but you should get to sleep,” Kravitz said, picking some of the meat off of the turkey and eating it.

“’M fine dude,” Taako insisted, yawning almost immediately afterwards. “But I guess sleep wouldn’t be too bad of an idea. You uh, you got a fridge, or something, back in ghost land? If I give you a tupperware of this stuff is it gonna go bad?” he asked, already pulling out a plastic container.

“It won’t go bad,” Kravitz insisted. Taako managed to stuff a large portion of the turkey into the tupperware before handing it over to him. Taking it, Kravitz pressed a quick kiss to Taako’s forehead.

“So, a dinner date next time for sure then? I guess I’ll pick the place,” Taako asked, and Kravitz laughed and nodded.

“That sounds wonderful,” he said, and with a bit of a flourish he disappeared the tupperware of food and called forth his scythe in one go. “Get some sleep love,” he added.

“Yeah fuck fine you don’t gotta nag m-” Taako started, cutting himself off when one of the other bedroom doors in the dorm opened. It was nearing early morning at this point, and both of them froze as Magnus walked into the sitting room.

“Hey what smells fuckin great  _ holy shit Taako look out!” _ Magnus yelled, which pretty much gave Kravitz a pretty solid idea of how much everyone knew.

“Dude fuck off!” Taako yelled, his voice a little shrill and embarrassed.

“I should be going,” Kravitz said, a bit awkwardly. He had to duck somewhat when Magnus threw an empty wine bottle from earlier in the night at his head.

“What no fuck don’t leave me to explain this by myself holy shit what am I supposed to do?” Taako rambled.

“Make due,” Kravitz joked, echoing his previous words back to him. Taako made a face at him, but didn’t stop him when he went and gave another quick kiss to the top of his head. “Thanks for the food,” he added quickly before stepping back and opening a rift to the astral plane.

Jumping through, he just managed to hear a quick commotion before it closed.

“Holy shit did he just kiss you?”

“I said fuck off!”

“What’s all this yellin-”

“Merle Taako kissed death!”

_ “Fuck all of yo-” _

And then the rift was closed and there was nothing but the calming silence of the astral sea around him. And then Kravitz doubled over in laughter.

Gods, Taako was not going to be happy with him the next time they met up, but he’d say it was worth it. Materializing the container of turkey again, Kravitz pulled out a couple more pieces to nibble on. It really was absolutely delicious, and he wasn’t lying when he told Taako it wouldn’t go bad. He doubted it would be around anywhere long enough to after all.

Smiling to himself as he ate and tried to imagine what kinds of food Taako would introduce him to next, Kravitz knew he was still dead.

But he couldn’t remember the last time he felt so alive.

**Author's Note:**

> A simple 'Kravitz tries Taako's cooking for the first time' prompt got away from me. They're just such sweet dorks I love writing these two. As always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!


End file.
